"Arnold Schwarzenegger will probably be the keynote speaker at the
Republican National Convention, which is very smart, because after
Schwarzenegger speaks, Bush's English won't sound so bad." —Jay Leno
"Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he is going to ask President Bush for help
with the budget. What better way to deal with a $38 billion deficit than get
advice from a guy that created a $450 billion deficit." —Jay Leno
"As you know Arnold is investigating himself. He will subpoena both of
his hands, and if he finds any evidence of wrongdoing he is going to sue
himself." —Jay Leno
"In Washington, Arnold Schwarzenegger met with Vice President Dick Cheney.
So, the Terminator met the Defibrillator. The difference between Schwarzenegger
and Cheney is that when Cheney grabs a chest, it's his own." —Jay Leno
"Immediately after Arnold was sworn in, Gloria Alred jumped in:
"While you have your hand on the Bible, I’d like to ask you a few
questions." —Jay Leno
"More problems for Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger. California
Attorney General Bill Locklear has suggested a special toll free number be set
up for women to call in allegations about Arnold's past. I have a better idea
— why not make it a 900 number and charge $1.99 a minute. We'll pay off that
$33 billion dollars right there." —Jay Leno
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