Pittsburgh Steelers Jokes
Q: How did Lawrence Taylor meet an underage girl through a mutual acquaintance?
A: Ben Roethlisberger!
Q: Why did Ines Sainz feel uncomfortable in the New York Jets locker room?
A: Because all the players put on Ben Roethlisberger jerseys!
Q: Why shouldn't Bills WR Stevie Johnson tweet to god about dropping a game winning touchdown pass in the overtime game with Pittsburgh?
A: God is a Steelers fan!
Q: Why is Charlie Sheen in such a good mood?
A: Because James Harrison now holds the record for most illegal hits!
Q: Why should Ben Roethlisberger be grateful that Roger Goodell was willing to meet with him in private?
A: Roger is one of the only people still willing to meet with Ben in a private room!
Q: What's black and gold and black and blue?
A: Any Steeler after playing the Ravens!
Q. How are the Steelers like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!
Q: Did you hear about the Steelers Super Bowl odds?
A: They are Le'veon A Prayer
Q: Want to hear a Steelers joke?
A: Sammie Coates!
Q: Why is Sammie Coates like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.
Q: How many Steelers fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in Baltimore's shadow!
Q: What do the Pittsburgh Steelers and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
Q: Who are the best paid sports figures?
A: Anyone on the Yankees, anyone on the Boston Red Sox, then all the women Ben Roethlisberger pays to stay quiet!
Q: What's the difference between the Pittsburgh Steelers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: How do you know the Pennslyvania State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Pittsburgh.
A: For the first offense, they give you two Steelers tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
Q: What do the Pittsburgh Steelers and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Steelers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: How many Pittsburgh Steelers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Pittsburgh Steelers.
Q: What do the Pittsburgh Steelers and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q: How do you keep a Pittsburgh Steeler out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Q: Why are so many Pittsburgh Steelers players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
Q: What is a Pittsburgh Steelers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Baltimore."
Q: How do you stop an Pittsburgh Steelers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Ravens Black and Purple!
Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Pittsburgh Steelers fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: If you have a car containing a Steelers wide receiver, a Steelers linebacker, and a Steelers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: How do you casterate an Pittsburgh Steelers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What should you do if you find three Pittsburgh Steelers football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Pittsburgh Steelers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: What do the Steelers and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sunday.
Q. How did the Pittsburgh Steelers fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: Did you hear that Pittsburgh's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: How many Pittsburgh Steelers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
Q: What does a Pittsburgh Steelers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do Pittsburgh Steelers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do the Steelers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple Pittsburgh Steelers games.
Q: How do you keep a Steelers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!
Q: Why do the Pittsburgh Steelers want to change their name to the Pittsburgh Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
Q: What's the difference between the Pittsburgh Steelers & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!
Q: What do the Steelers and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!
Q: Where do you go in Pittsburgh in case of a tornado?
A: Heinz Fieldp - they never get a touchdown there!
Q. Why do ducks fly over Heinz Field upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why doesn't Harrisburg have a professional football team?
A: Because then Pittsburgh would want one.
Q: Why are Pittsburgh Steelers jokes getting dumber and dumber??
A: Because Steelers fans have started to make them up themselves.
Q: What's the difference between Pittsburgh Steelers fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
Q: What's the difference between the Pittsburgh Steelers and a pinball machine?
A: The pinball machine scores more points.
Did you hear that Heinz Field had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Pittsburgh Steelers fans.
Can a Pittsburgh Steelers player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.
Son: What's a touchdown?
Dad: I'm not sure son, we're Pittsburgh Steelers fans.
My wife was about to put my son in a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.
I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Steelers jersey on it and now it sucks again.
Why did the Pittsburgh Steelers fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.
I put a Steelers logo on an airplane and now it can't touchdown.
Are you scared of catching the flu? Just hang in the Steelers end zone, they don't catch anything there.
A Steelers fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.
Ravens Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Steelers fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Steelers fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
Because I'm not a Steelers fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Steelers fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Ravens fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Ravens fan?'
"Because my mom is a Ravens fan, and my dad is Ravens fan, so I'm a Ravens fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Ravens fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Steelers fan.'
4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Ravens fan, and a Steelers fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Ravens fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Steelers fan off the mountain.
Ben Roethlisberger
Ben Roethlisberger walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Ben "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Ben. The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
Condoms
What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's black and gold and goes on a prick? A Steelers Jersey.
Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 Pittsburgh Steelers fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Pittsburgh Steelers fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Pittsburgh Steelers fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
What do you call all of the Pittsburgh Steelers fans on the moon?
PROBLEM SOLVED!
Steelers Fan
A Steelers fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Royal Blue and Silver jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Steelers fans in heaven."
"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Steelers fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Steelers supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now f**k off".