Cricket Jokes
The two rival cricketers were talking. 'The local team wants me to play for them very badly.'
'Well, you're just the man for the job.'
What is the Pakistani version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls
What is a bugs favourite sport?
Cricket.
When would an Australian cricketer have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.
The two clubmen were talking. 'So you had a hard time explaining the cricket game to your wife, eh?'
'I certainly did. She found out I wasn't there.'
What is the difference between an Indian fielder and a condom?
One drops a catch and other catches a drop
Why can't fat people play cricket?
Because they block the wickets.
What's the Pakistani version of LBW?
Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Why did the cricket bowler never sweat?
Because he had such huge fans!
Who has the easiest job in the Indian squad?
The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire South African innings.
There's a man in Liverpool who claims to have invented a game that in certain respects is a bit like cricket.
What he doesn't know is that the England team has been playing it for years.
You're looking glum'. 'Yes. My doctor says I can't play cricket.'
'Really? I didn't know he'd ever seen you play!'
Two club members were talking about a recent car accident. 'What ever became of that hit-and-run driver?'
'He's batting for the prison cricket team!'
Paul Hogan: Cricket needs brightening up a bit. My solution is to let the players drink at the beginning of the game, not after....
In & Out
A blonde woman ran into a police station wailing. She claimed that she had been raped.
After she stopped sobbing, the Police Officer requested her for a description of the rapist.
"He was tall and dressed in white. He was wearing all sorts of protective pads, gloves and helmet."
"Hmmm...appears to be a cricketer," concluded the policeman.
"Ah officer!" she confirmed, "then he must have been an English cricketer."
"What makes you think that he was English? From the accent?" asked the officer.
"No sir," she replied, "he just didn't stay in very long."
Hat Trick
Batsman was out first ball of the over. New man in got out in the next ball. On the walk back to the pavilion, he passed the incoming batsman, a pompous rival. "Tough luck. Better luck next time, old man," he said tongue in cheek. "Yes. It's a shame I had to be right in the middle of a hat trick, see you soon" the other shot back.
Can We Go Home
Edward took his blonde girlfriend to a test match. Not only did she not understand the game, she was completely bored. After tea, a batsman hit a powerful six over the long on boundary. "Thank heavens! Now they got rid of the ball!" she shouted in delight. "Now we can all go home!"
Thinking
Captain to the umpire: "My players would like to know if ICC has rules against thinking."
Umpire: "Thinking. Not really! Why do you ask?"
Captain: "Well because my team thinks you are a dick."