Random Joke
Cat
Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?
A: The Pink Panter Show!
Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!
Q: When is a lion not a lion?
A: When he turns into his cage!
Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
A: I'm paw!
Q: What do you call a lioin who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
Q: What do tigers wear in bed?
A: Stripey pyjamas!
Q: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
A: Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
A: A stripey jumper!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!
Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripey sweater!
Q: Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas?
A: Because he has sandy claws!
Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: 'Pleased to eat you.'!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!
Q: What is a French cat's favorite pudding?
A: Chocolate mousse!
Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half!
Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
A: 'Claws.'
Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped,
What's a tiger?
A: A stri-ped!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripey sweater!
Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: 'Pleased to eat you.'!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!
Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
A: 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'
Q: What is lion's favorite food?
A: Baked beings!
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!
Q: What's striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!
Q: What is the cat's favorite TV show?
A: The evening mews!
Q: How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?
A: Smack a lion!
Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Q: How is cat food sold?
A: Usually purr can!
Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A: A tiger moth!
Q: What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
A: 'Let us prey.'
Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A: A catastrophe!
Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China?
A: Chairman Miaow!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A: A cat-a-logue!
Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
A: An octopuss!
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
Q: When the cat's away.....?
A: The house smells better!
Q: Why was the cat so small?
A: Because it only ate condensed milk!
Q: Why did the cat cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off!
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