Jewish Pick Up Lines
Are you Jewish? Cause you israeli hot!
You had me at Shalom.
My nose isn't the only thing that's big.....
Yo gurl don't Jewish that you were mine
Once you go Jew, no Christian will do.
If I raise my staff will it only part the sea?
Can I put out your burning bush?
I wanna light your menorah.
My people invented circumcision....Your Welcome
God just told me there was going to be a flood and I've decided to save you.
"I like my women like I like my dreidels.....bottom heavy"
I don't care what the Torah says, I'm not leaving any of your four corners unplowed.
Are you the milk or the honey I was promised?
Baby I'd nail you harder then we nailed Jesus to that cross.
I'll be Moses, you can play with my staff, and I'll scream "Let my people go!"
Want to go fiddle on a roof?
Do you want something to atone for on yom kippur?
Can I kiss your Mezuzah?
I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years.
I may not be Elisha but will you open the door anyway.
Do you wanna spin my dreidel?
You bring the apples i'll bring the honey
Have I seen you on j-date?
Lets do it like adam and eve, behind some bushes.
Even though it's breaking a commandment, I'm worshipping you right now.
You must be Egyptian because I'm a slave for you.
Instead of the torah, can I study your body 3 times a day?
Are those matza balls in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Can I come into your massada?
That yarmulke would look great on my bedroom floor!
I'll take you to the promised land.
You know how it is with Jewish culture, everything begins at sundown!
Which commandment do you want to break?
Don't worry I won't passover you.
Got any Jewish in you? . . . Want some?
Baby lets run away together, just Jew and Me.
All I want for Channukah, is you.
How bout I play moses and u play with my staff.
I know I'm one of the chosen people but I just want to be chosen by you, baby
Are you bar mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
Can I dip my maror in your charoset.
Unlike the torah, I'm gonna put my hands all over you.
Just like the Ner Tamid, my love for you burns eternal.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Israel!
Israel who?
Do you wanna little Jewish in you, cause this dick Israel.