Superman Jokes
Q: Where does Superman park his privates?
A: On Lois Lane
Q: What did Superman say when he married two Women on the same day?
A: "That's mighty bigamy!"
Q: What did Lex Luthor say when he did the same thing, then killed the women?
A: "That's awful bigamy!"
Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom?
A: Superbowl.
Q: What do you get if you cross the man of steel with a hot beef broth?
A: Souperman!
Q: Why did Superman flush the toilet?
A: Because it was his duty!
Q: What is Supermans favorite part of the joke?
A: The "punch" line!
Q: What is Superman's greatest weakness?
A: A bucking horse.
Q: What is Supermans favorite drink?
A: Fruit punch!
Q: What does Superman put in his beverages?
A: Just ice.
Superman looked at Bruce Wayne and said: "Stop acting like a bat boy, ok Batman?"
Three Drunks
Three drunkards are standing on top of the Empire State Building.
The first one says to the other two, "You know, it's a funny thing about these wind currents. A person could jump off of this building right now and not even hit the ground; the wind would carry him right back up to the top of the building!"
The second drunk says, "You're crazy!"
The first drunk says, "I'm serious! Watch!" The first drunk jumps off of the building, and the wind carries him right back up to the top!
The second drunk says, "Let me try!"
So the second drunk leaps off of the building and promptly falls to the street below, landing with a hideous SPLAT!
The first drunk smiles, clearly amused. The third drunk looks at him and says, "You know, Superman, you can be a real Jerk When you're drunk!"
Four Corners
There is a big room with four corners.
In the first corner, you find Superman.
In the second corner you find Batman.
In the third corner you find Spiderman.
And in the fourth corner you find an extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with an amazing ultra-thin magazine-model figure.
In the center of the room there is a pot of gold.
Q:Who gets to the pot of gold first?
A: None, because none of these characters exist.
Superpowers
Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls.
Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.
A little disappointed, Superman called Spider-man to see if wanted to grab a couple of beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.
As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see If she was free.
As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open.
Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what was happening."
So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily.
Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder woman said "Did you hear anything?"
"NO"! said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!"
Magic Drink
One day, a woman walks into a bar. Before she decides to order, a man comes flying up to her. He said "Try this magic drink!! It will make you fly!!"
So the woman orders that drink, and tests it out. She jumped off the roof, and falls to her death. The bartender says to the man, "Superman, your such a jerk when your drunk."