Short Ohio Jokes
Q: What's the only thing that grows in Cleveland?
A: The Crime Rate!
Q: What's the only thing that grows in Dayton?
A: The swelling from your head from getting jacked!
Q: Where is Engagement Ohio?
A: Between Dayton & Marion.
Q. Why do ducks fly over Columbus, Ohio upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: What happens when Ohio State chokes?
A: They go blue.
Q: What is round at each end and high in the middle?
A: Ohio.
Q: What does Ronda Rousey, Ohio State and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A: They all lost on the final kick.
Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Ohio?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q: Why do OSU grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Why don't Ohio State football players sink in the Great Lakes?
A: Because crap floats...
Q: Why did Taylor Lewan choke an Ohio State grad?
A: He wanted him to GO BLUE!
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Ohio?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: What does a Buckeye grad call a Wolverine grad in 5 years?
A: Boss!
I'm not saying Bearcats basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game.
The rest will dress themselves.
Q: Why is "The Wave" banned in Nippert Stadium?
A: Two Bearcats fans drowned last year.
Q: Why did the Ohio State regents decide to cover Ohio Stadium in cardboard?
A: Because the Buckeyes always look better on paper.
Q: What happens when blondes move from Michigan to Ohio?
A: Both states become smarter!
Q: Why aren't Akron cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?
A: They stick to the ground.
Q: Why do all the trees in Michigan lean south?
A: Ohio Sucks
Q: What does a girl from Columbus do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.
Q: Why do Buckeyes basketball players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree".
Q: Who works the hardest at an OSU game?
A: The chain gang.
Q: Why do Toledo students have such beautiful noses?
A: They're hand picked.
Q: Why did Ohio State disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.
Q: What's the difference between a Cleveland State diploma and toilet paper?
A: About $80,000 per sheet.
Q: What does it say on the back of every Cleveland State diploma?
A: Will Work For Food.
Q: Why did the Youngstown State grad cross the road?
A: Better question why is he out of jail?
Q: How does a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to Cleveland State.
Q: Why did Bowling Green State change their uniforms to Orange?
A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.
Q: What's the one thing that keeps OSU basketball players from graduating?
A: Going to Class.
Q: Why did the Cincinnati football team cross the road?
A: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
Q: How is a Cleveland girl different from a bowling ball?
A: Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
Q: What do OSU grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you break a Cleveland State grads finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How do you get a Toledo Rockets fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke Monday morning.
Q: Why do Akron Zips fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
Q: Why did Cincinnati change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Bearcats cheerleaders from grazing the field at halftime.
Q: Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking?
A: The other one goes to Youngstown State.
Q: Whats the difference between Columbus and yogurt?
A: Yogurt has an active living culture.
Q: Why do the Ohio State Buckeyes eat cereal straight from the box?
A: They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
Q: What's the difference between Nippert Stadium and a cactus?
A: The cactus has its pricks on the outside.
Q: What separates a good team from a great team?
A: The Ohio-Michigan border.
Q: How do you confuse a Cleveland State student?
A: You can't they were born that way.
Q: How do you get from Ann Arbor to Columbus?
A: Go south until you smell shit and east until you step in it.
Q: What will you never hear a Cleveland State grad say?
A: "I have reviewed your application......"
Q: Why are all the trees in Kentucky leaning to the south?
A: Because Tennessee sucks and Ohio blows.
Q: Did you hear about the Ohio State Buckeye fan who tried to blow up the Michigan team bus?
A: He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Xavier University library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in Ohio State University's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What does the average Ohio University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: What do you call "Go Blue!" signs on a lawn at a home in Ohio?
A: Home improvement.
Q: Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over OSU?
A: He wanted an academic challenge!
Q: How many Xavier University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: How do you make Ohio State University cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.