Short North Carolina Jokes
Q. What's the difference between a North Carolina State sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: Why do NC State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Duke University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in North Carolina?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the North Carolina State University library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in North Carolina State's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What does the average North Carolina State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: How many North Carolina State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: How do you make University of North Carolina State cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: If you have a car containing a Tarheel point guard, a Tarheel power forward, and a Tarheel center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in North Carolina?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate a NC State Wolfpack fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Whats the difference between the NC State Wolfpack and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!
Q: Why do North Carolina students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the NC State Wolfpack campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at NC State University?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three University Of North Carolina basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an North Carolina Tarheels fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in North Carolina?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the NC State grad die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What does a Tarheel grad call a Blue Devils grad in 5 years?
A: Boss!
I'm not saying Tarheels basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game.
The rest will dress themselves.
Q: Why is "The Wave" banned in Kenan Memorial Stadium?
A: Two Tarheels fans drowned last year.
Q: Why did the New York regents decide to cover Kenan Memorial Stadium in cardboard?
A: Because the Tarheels always look better on paper.
Q: What happens when blondes move from South Carolina to North Carolina?
A: Both states become smarter!
Q: Why aren't NC State cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?
A: They stick to the ground.
Q: Why do all the trees in Virginia lean south?
A: North Carolina Sucks
Q: What does a girl from the Greensboro do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.
Q: Why do Blue Devils basketball players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree".
Q: Why do Duke students have such beautiful noses?
A: They're hand picked.
Q: Why did NC State disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.
Q: What's the difference between a North Carolina at Charlotte diploma and toilet paper?
A: About $80,000 per sheet.
Q: What does it say on the back of every University of North Carolina at Charlotte diploma?
A: Will Work For Food.
Q: Why did the Coastal Carolina Community College grad cross the road?
A: Better question why is he out of jail?
Q: How does a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to NC State.
Q: Why should the NC State Wolfpack change their uniforms to Orange?
A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.
Q: What's the one thing that keeps North Carolina basketball players from graduating?
A: Going to Class.
Q: Why did the Duke football team cross the road?
A: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
Q: How is a Chapel Hill girl different from a bowling ball?
A: Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
Q: What do Duke University grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you break a Duke grads finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How do you get a NC State fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke Monday morning.
Q: Why do North Carolina at Charlotte fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them too.