Korea Jokes
Short Korea Jokes
Q: What is Korean Dracula's favorite morning beverage?
A: Koh-peee! (coffee)
Q: What does the Korean bread say when it hit the wall?
A: Bhang!
Q: Why is Korean toilet paper so big?
A: Because it's HUGE-ey!
Q: What did the mommy Korean turkey say to her baby turkey?
A: Gobble ji mah!
Q: What has 2 wings and a halo?
A: An Korean telephone, Wing-wing, halo?
Q: What do you call an Asian basketball player with a hook shot?
A: Korean Abdul Jabbar.
Q: What do you call a bunch of Koreans in a pool?
A: Rice Krispies
Q: What do you call the brown burnt rice at the bottom of the rice cooker?
A: bob ee brown! (Bobby Brown)
Q: What do you call a joke about the Supreme Leader?
A: A Kim Jong pun.
Q: How does every Korean joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: I asked my North Korean friend "How is it going?"
A: He replied "can not complain"
Q: What do you call a Korean woman with one leg?
A: Irene.
Q: Why do Koreans hate basketball?
A: They spend 13 hours a day making them.
Q: What do you call a Korean that gets on your nerves?
A: Anno Ying.
Q: How many Koreans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter because they're all to short.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because North Korean Long-Range missiles can't reach that far.
Q: What time was it when the monster ate the Korean prime minister?
A: Eight P.M.
Q: Whats the difference between a smart Korean and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Korean beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
Q: What do Koreans eat in America?
A: Seoul Food.
Q: How do you know if a Korean gang robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone and 3 hours later they're still trying to backup out of the driveway.
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Korea?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: What do you call a Korean protest?
A: a SITUASIAN.
Q: What did the Korean father tell his daughter?
A: You allergic to bees.....Good! Get A's or C your way out of my house.
Q: What do Koreans do during erections?
A: They vote.
Q: What's the capital of South Korea?
A: About three dollars.
So I asked my North Korean friend how his life was going. He said "Can't Complain."
KOREAN PREGNANCY TEST: Put an unsolved Rubik's cube into her vagina. If it comes out solved, she is pregnant.
My parents are so Korean they Honor-killed my sister for getting an A- on a math test!
If you spin a Korean man around would he become disoriented?
I wonder if the Koreans put their smileys like this �)
Construction
There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired."
So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy. Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy. Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy??"
All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"
We were so poor when I was growing up that all my clothes came from the army and navy store'
..... you will never know how embarrassing it was going to school dressed as a Korean admiral.
MY dad was a photographer and when he got mad he would hit me with his camera ..... I still get flashbacks
Captain
An airplane takes off from the airport. The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Korean. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious by the silence that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, "I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?"
The Captain says, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese."
The F.O. says, "Nooooo, noooo... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese. And besides, I'm not Chinese or Japanese, I'm Korean!""
And the Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, they're all alike." Another thirty minutes of silence.
Finally the F.O. says, "No like Jew." The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"
F.O. says, "Jews sink Titanic."
The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg."
The F.O. replies," Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same."
Currency Exchange
"A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200.
The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!""
Korean Pizza
An American businessman goes to South Korea on a business trip, but he hates Korean food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.
The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
Blind Fold
An American man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Korean bloke said to him, "I am sick of seeing your big round eyes."
The American replied, "Put on a blind fold."
The Korean man asked, "Where do I get one?
The American then said, "Here take my shoe lace."
Korean Sex
There was an american man who lived in Korea and when he was there he had a lot of sex and never used a condom the entire time he was there.
Then he returned to America and one morning he woke up and noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis.the man freaked out.
He went to the doctor.
The doctor said "I have never seen anything like this before. We will need to run some tests."
So they ran some tests and he said come back in 3 days for your test results.
The man came back in 3 days and the doctor said "I have some bad news.you have a disease called pongolion HP. It is very uncommon here and we now little about it. I'm sorry sir but we will need to amputate your penis."
The man was horrified.
He went to a Korean doctor thinking he would know more about it.
The doctor said "oh yes, pongolion HP, very ware. yes" said the Korean Doctor.
The american doctor wants to amputate my penis.
"Stupid a american doctah, make more money that way, no need amputate."
"Oh thank god" said the man.
"Yes,wait 2 weeks, fall off by itself."
The Foreigner
Once there was a man that came from Korea to America, He couldnt speak English so he went to choir and learned how to say "Me me me me me me."
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say "He stole my dolly"
And on his way home he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say "Plug it in Plug it in."
Then he went to the store and there was a murder the police said "Who killed this man?"
The foreigner said "Me me me me me me me."
The police said "Why did you kill him?"
And the man said "He stole my dolly."
The police man said "What did you kill him with?"
The man said "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The police man said "any last words?"
And the foreigner said "Plug it in plug it in."
Three Guys
There was three guys walking down a hill a black guy, a Mexican guy, and a Korean guy.
Then they got kidnapped by a crazy gay guy.
He said, "If all three of your dicks add up to 12 inches your lives will be spared."
The black guy pulls down his pants and he measured 6 inches,
the mexican measured 4 inches
and the the Korean measured 2 inches.
Their lives got spared.
Walking down that same hill the black guy said, "You are lucky im black"
The mexican said, "You are lucky im Mexican"
Then the Korean said, "You are soooo lucky I had a boner".