Cake Jokes
Q: Why did the students eat their homework?
A: Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A: When it's been sliced.
Q: What did the cake say to the fork?
A: you want a piece of me?
Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
A: Because it was marble cake!
Q: What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
A: You can have your cake and eat it too.
Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A: Angel food cake, of course!
Q: Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
A: It was icing on the cake.
Q: What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake?
A: Shortcake!
Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
A: Mice cream and cake!
Q: Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
A: To make them light and fluffy.
Q: How do you get a Minecraft themed party started?
A: Let them eat cake.
Q: What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
A: "What's eating you?"
Q: Why was Tony Soprano fat?
A: Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
Q: If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes?
A: A fruitcake.
Q: Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
A: Cause he was stuffed.
Q: When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away?
A: Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Q: Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
A: Because his wife told him to ice it!
Q: What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
A: Megadeth by Chocolate.
Q: Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
A: Because it was feeling crumby!
Q: What happened when Jessica Simpson tried to make a birthday cake?
A: The candles melted in the oven!
Q; Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Q: What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A: A stomach-cake!
Q: What do you call a baker with a cold?
A: Coughee cake.
Q: What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey?
A: Cake Boss.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
Forehead
John is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts,
"Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It"s been flickering for weeks now".
He looks at her and says angrily,
"Fix the lights now?
Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead?
I don"t think so".
Fine, then the wife asks,
"Well then, could you fix the fridge door?
It won"t close right "
to which he replied,
"Fix the fridge door?
Does it look like I have Kenmore written on my forehead?
I don"t think so".
"Fine", she says "then you could at least fix the steps to the front door?
They are about to break "
"i"m not a carpenter and i don"t want to fix steps".
He says, "does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead?
I don"t think so
I"ve had enough of you.
I"m going to the bar!
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours
He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home
As he walks into the house, he notices that the steps are already fixed.
As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working.
As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.
"Honey", he asks, "How did all this get fixed?"
She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried."
Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.
He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either
go to bed with him or bake a cake".
He said,
"So what kind of cake did you bake?"
she replied,
"hellooooo..
Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?
I don"t think so!"
Little Girls
One day a little girl was watching cartoons when a porno came through.
The little girl asked her mom "What are they doing?"
The girls mom said "baking a cake."
Then the next day they were walking in the park and there were these people making out
And the girl said "Look mommy they are baking a cake!"
The next day the girl says "Mommy you and Daddy were baking a cake last night."
Her mom replied "how did you know?"
The girl said "because I licked the icing off the sofa!"