Q: Who's the dumbest person in America?
A: OJ's next girlfriend!
Q: What do the Pittsburgh Steelers and O.J. Simpson have in common?
A: They both beat up on the Browns.
Q: Who's the most famous Los Angeles Dodger?
A: O.J. Simpson.
Q: What record of OJ's will stand forever?
A: His criminal record.
Q: What do the LAPD and Tropicana have in common?
A: They both have O.J. in a can.
Q: What are two things that O.J. has that every man wants?
A: A Heisman Trophy and a dead wife.
Q: What's the difference between Rodney King and O.J. Simpson?
A: O.J. started out with millions.
Q: What do you get when you put Lorena Bobbit, Tammy Faye, and O.J.Simpson in the same room?
A: A butcher, a Bakker and a license plate maker.
Q: What do O.J. and Pee-Wee Herman have in common?
A: They were both arrested for abusing their loved ones.
Q: What is the difference between O.J. and David Letterman?
A: There is absolutely nothing funny about David Letterman.
Q: Why can't Heidi Fleiss and O.J. play golf together?
A: Because Heidi Fleiss is a hooker and O.J. is a slicer.
Q: Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills?
A: OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.
Q: Why did OJ's kids want to live with their dad?
A: They knew they could get away with murder.
Q: Where was Kato Kalin between 9 and 12?
A: In the fourth grade.
Q: What Halloween Costume is sure to scare the hell out of your ex-girlfriend?
A: An O.J. Simpson costume.
Q: Did you hear about OJ's new margerine endorsement?
A: I can't believe I'm Not Guilty.
Q: What did Johnny Cochran say when accused of beating his wife?
A: At least I didn't kill her like some people I know.
Q: What's the difference between OJ and Colonel Sanders?
A: Colonel Sanders cuts up his chicks before he batters them.
Q: What is the difference between Tang and O.J.?
A: Tang won't kill you!
Q: Why do they call him O.J.?
A: Because he beats the pulp out of his women.
Q: What was the last thing Nicole said?
A: "I should have had a V-8."
Q: What did O.J. do when he saw the cops in his rearview mirror?
A: He froze and concentrated.
Q: What did Michael Jackson say to O.J. Simpson?
A: "Don't worry, I'll take care of the kids."
Q: Why are Heidi Fleiss, OJ Simpson, Ted Kennedy and Greg Luganus the worst golf team ever assembled?
A: Because Heidi Hooks, OJ Slices, Kennedy is in the Water and Greg is always in the wrong hole.
Q: Why were some people in L.A. dissapointed by the O.J. verdict?
A: They already had new TV sets picked out!
Q: Why was O.J. allowed out of jail for Thanksgiving?
A: He was the only one in his family who could carve up white meat.
Q: How can you tell if it's the springtime in Idaho?
A: You will see Mark Fuhrman planting gloves.
Q: What was the last thing O.J. said to Nicole?
A: "Your waiter will be right with you."
Q: What does O.J. have in common with a box of fireworks?
A: They both can kill people, but we let them off anyway!
Q: What is the slogan of OJ's new limo service?
A: We'll get you to the airport with time to kill.
Q: What did OJ whisper to Robert Shapiro after the verdict was read?
A: "Just let me grab my hat and gloves and I'll meet you at the door."
Q: How do we know that Thurman Thomas didn't kill O.J.'s ex-wife?
A: Thurman would have fumbled the knife.
Q: What was O.J.'s favorite play in the Bills' playbook?
A: Cut left, then slash right!
Q: Why did O.J. kill his ex?
A: He wanted to restrict her free agency.
Q: Did you hear that the police are now saying that O.J. moved the bodies after the murders?
A: They are accusing him of 2 carries for 58 yards.
Q: What's the difference between O.J. Simpson and John Elway?
A: One drives a slow, white Bronco. The other "is" a slow, white Bronco.
Q: What is O.J.'s favorite Major League Baseball team?
A: The Red Sox!
Q: Remember what a great career O.J. had with the Buffalo Bills?
A: Imagine what he could have done with the Sabres!
Q: What's the difference between the Simpson trial and the Super Bowl?
A: Both had over 50 million viewers, but only one has seen a Buffalo Bill win
Q: What do the LAPD and NFL defences have in common?
A: Both let OJ slip through their fingers.
Q: What distinction does OJ hold in jail?
A: He's the first inmate with a retired number.
Q: Why won't Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman play in the NFL?
A: They were cut by the Bills.
Q: What was OJ penalized for the most?
A: Unnecessary roughness.
Q: Why was OJ such a great football player?
A: He knew how to knife thru the defenders.
Q: How do we know OJ is innocent?
A: When he was with the Bills, he always cut to the left.
Q: What is Kato Kalin proof of?
A: Ginger and Gilligan had sex.
Q: What do the state of California and Taco Bell have in common?
A: They are two things that can give O.J. gas.
Q: What's harder than squeezing blood from a turnip?
A: Squeezing O.J. from a Bronco.