Camel Jokes

Camel Short Jokes

Q: What do you call a camel without a hump?
A: Humphrey (Hump-free).

Q: Did you hear about the camel who was accused of stock fraud?
A: He took part in a hump and dump scheme.

Q: Why did the Taliban school alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.?
A: They only had one camel.

Q. What do you call a Taliban who owns six camels?
A. A pimp!

Q: How do you have sex with a camel?
A: One hump at a time.

Q: What do camels use to hide themselves?
A: Camelflauge!

Q. What weekday is a Camel always looking forward to?
A. Wednesday (Hump Day)

Q: Why are camels called ships of the desert?
A: Because they are filled with Arab semen!

Q: What do you call 144 camels in a box?
A: Gross!

Q: What is a camels favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpty Dumpty

Do you like Camels cause we can go hump back at my place.

Camel Bar Jokes

Baby Camel
It's a baby camel goes to see his mother and asks her

"Mom, why do we have a lump on the back?"

She replies "It is to be able to store the water for more time my darling."
The baby camel then asks "Ah, and why do we have hooves?"
"It's to be able to pass the hardest paths my darling." the mother replies
"And why do we have big eyelids?" asks the baby.
"It's to prevent the sand from entering our eyes darling." replies the mother
"Oh, Ok" and the baby looks around him and turns to his mother:
"But then Mom, what are we doing in San Diego Zoo?"

General In the Foreign Legion

This general in the Foreign Legion is transferred to a new fort, and
half way through his tour of the place, he spots a mangey old camel
tied up at the back of the fort.
He turns to the corporal: "What in God's name do you use that for?",
he asks.
The corporal replies "Well, sir, there are a lot of men, and now and
then, they become, shall we say, horny...."
"Ah, yes, yes, I understand. Fine, move on"
About 6 weeks later, the general wakes up feeling so horny, he'd get
up on the crack of dawn and calls the corporal.
"Bring me to the camel" says he.
The corporal does, and once at the camel, he makes it stand up, and
places a stool behind it. With that, the general stands on the stool,
takes out Mr Floppy and inserts it into the camel. He then proceeds
to give it the ride of its life. Having finished, he puts away his
equipment, and looks proudly at the corporal.
"Well", he says, "is that the way you men do it around here?"
", sir", replies the corporal, "We normally just use the camel
to ride to the nearest brothel."

Elephant & Camel

The elephant asked the camel: "Why do you have your breasts on your back?"

The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face."

Middle of the Sahara Desert

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.
On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their
situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke.
"Well sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, father."
"In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than
a day or two."
"I agree."
"Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would
you do something for me?"
"Anything father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might
see yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."
The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely
breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.
"Sister would you mind if I touched them?"
She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"
"I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe.
"Oh father, may I touch it?"
This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling
he was sporting a huge erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it
can give life."
"Is that true father?"
"Yes it is, sister."
"Then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and lets get
the hell out of here."

Englishman, Irishman, & Scotsman

An englishman an irishman and a scotsman were in the sweltering desert
walking around looking desperatly for something to eat and drink,
when, as if out of nowhere, a camel appeared.
The englishman caught the camel and spluttered I support "Liverpool,
so I suppose I better eat the liver."
The scotsman immediately shouted, "Well I support Hearts so I'll eat
the heart."
And then the rather mentally challenged irishman said, "I support
Arsenal, but I don't feel hungry any more."

One evening a camel strolling through the desert, and sees a coyote screaming.
He approaches the coyote and asks him "How come you coyotes scream only at night?"
The wolf responds "During the day, you can see the cacti before sitting on it!"

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